Part One of the Sausage Files: This Ain’t No Camp Northstar Weenie!

There’s a scene in the movie Meatballs where Larry “Fink” Finkelstein faces off against “The Stomach” from Camp Mohawk in a hotdog eating contest, with a pile of boiled hotdogs between them. Just before the contest begins, Bill Murray’s character, “Trip”, gives the chubby Fink a peptalk:

“That's right, Fink. Look at those steaming weenies. And you know what they're saying, Larry? They're saying, ‘This is the year that Fink beats The Stomach.’”

As the contest begins, the fans on the sidelines yell,
“Come on, Fink!”
“This is weenie war! Eat!”
“Stretch that stomach, Fink!”

Fink would go berserk in a Luxembourg deli section. It is an altar to the glory of the pig. There are cured sausages like salamis, cooked sausages that just need heating up (like hotdogs), and raw sausages. And that is to say nothing of all the other fascinating cured meat products.

I have always liked hotdogs, though their quality varies widely in the U.S. With a hotdog, you don’t worry about Upton Sinclair and The Jungle, with its tales of sawdust and fingers going into the grinders. That’s (pretty much) in the past, despite cringeworthy reporting from Eric Schlosser’s Fast Food Nation. You just need to grin, bite and enjoy.

One problem I have with American hotdogs is the “hotdog water” flavor. You know when you boil a hotdog, there is a strangely chemical scent to the water? What is that, nitrates? Something else? Though that is part of the hotdog, it is a part I don’t like.

Here in Luxembourg, there are several sausages that fit the description of “hotdog,” though they taste markedly different. Two of these I tried recently are the wiener wurstchen and the edamerwurst. Either of these could easily be the best tasting hotdog in America. I am blessed that on any given night, either one (or both!) could be draped across my plate, vying for my attention and flirting with my affection. Both taste natural, without any artificial hotdoggyness.

Wiener wurstchen is the most hotdoggy of the two. It has a creamy smooth texture and a delicious fatty texture. I haven’t tried boiling it, because hotdogs need grilling. In Luxembourg all the sausages are grilled; boiling a sausage is an offense akin to waterboarding. I'm sure it happens somewhere, but nobody wants to know about the details.

Edamerwurst is manna in a casing. Lightly grilled, it is heavenly and like manna, won’t stay around for long. It is the most luxurious sausage I have ever eaten. The inside is bursting with little pockets of indescribably rich flavor. The secret? Tiny pockets of Dutch edam cheese spread throughout the sausage. Once heated, they melt into a beautifully creamy and juicy texture, like that of a triple cream French cheese such as Explorateur. Like any good sausage, I want to eat more of them than I possibly can.  

These two sausages can be eaten plain with no regrets. A touch of stone ground mustard makes them come alive, however. The Luxembourgers slip them into a toasted baguette roll, crispy on the outside and soft inside. The spices that make each what they are are still a mystery to me. I will update this if I ever discover a viable recipe.

If you visit us in Luxembourg, we can sit on the balcony with our “wursts” and a local beer. With our feet propped up on the railing and the sun setting, we could reminisce about the American hotdog and other staples of the American diet. We might even sing the Meatballs camp counselors song:

“We are the CITs
So pity us
The kids are brats
The food is hideous
We're gonna smoke and drink
And fool around
‘Cause we’re Northstar CITs.”

But not for long. The sausages might get cold.